12/19/17
12/19/17
A woman looks so distressed. Her chicken legs are visible from across the street as she walks toward the sliding glass door entrance to the hospital. Her hair is wet and her skirt looks like it isn’t keeping her legs nearly warm enough. The disorientation is clear on her face and she turns around trying to find her way upon entering.
There is a couple sitting next to me on a similarly hard wooden bench. The woman is wearing a wool winter hat and sunglasses. Her spirit is hollow. She’s entirely reliant on her husband/caretaker/brother?/soul-giver. He is on the phone, trying to stay calm. But this is his life now. Her suffering is his. They seem to have a child. A cute little tubby boy around 10 years old. He is sitting near the tree in the lobby. Such a central focal point of this area. He is crouched forward with a slouch that only appears through sadness and lack of confidence. Believe me, I can recognize that slouch anywhere. He is just a boy. But his mother’s suffering is now his. He won’t understand much of what’s happening, but this is normalized for him. Sitting by the hospital lobby tree and slouching because this isn’t a place for a healthy child. His mom just got up, she can’t bear to look across from her at her little boy anymore. She left to go on a walk. Solace in her own presence is what she needs. Maybe a break from seeing her suffering taken on by her family.
There is a young woman sitting next to me now. She has her back straight as a board. She’s 100% waiting for an interview. I wonder what the position is. Damn, I just looked up from my screen. She is gorgeous. Anyway, she is looking out the sliding glass door entrance. Trying to relax before being put on the spot. She has a clipboard on her lap, filled with her resume. A piece of paper illustrating the accomplishments she’s made. She wants this job so badly. I can feel it. It’s the straight back most of all.
Oh, the sun is coming out now. I can see it through the skylight and the entrance. Near the valet parking entrance.
The little tubby boy just looked up at his father/caretaker/uncle? and desperately wants cues. He is playing with his toy plastic car on the tiles near the tree. His mom is still on her solitary walk and his father/caretaker/uncle? is still on the phone.
This young black woman is now intimidating me. Her posture is truly exquisite and she is surveying the room to ground her down to what is happening. She is a bit uncomfortable and anxious for this interview. I would hire her.
There are more people milling around. They seemed to all show up at 10am. Feels like a rush hour in the hospital. There’s a nurse pushing an empty wheelchair back inside from the valet lot. Her blue/gray scrubs give away her identity.
There is an Asian couple walking in through the entrance and standing as they ponder what to take as their next step forward. The husband leans on his cane.
There is another Asian couple walking past. Each with a coffee in their hands. Walking quite prominently through the lobby. They are gone now. Probably on a mission.
There is an informational desk area. With a sexy as hell, black security officer standing and leaning on the counter. Ugh. Why. He knows it. Even though I only see his back. I need to stop. Now he is helping a beautiful woman and his stance is killing me. His legs are spread far wider than they need to be. Power stance. He walked out from the desk and asserted his dominance over the area. That’s cool. I exhale….
There is a round Asian/Hawaiian woman at the informational desk sitting down. I’ve seen her so many times before. She is sweet like a butterscotch candy. Until a man loudly demands to tell her where he needs to be.
She asks, “is your appointment at UCSF or Kaiser?”
“YES!”- the malnourished and worn down man says
“Is your appointment here at UCSF or is it at Kaiser?”
“I’VE BEEN HERE BEFORE”
“Please just go use the restroom and I will find out where you are supposed to be”
–He walks away and I haven’t seen him since.
This beautifully strong black woman next to me checks her phone again. Thinking ‘I wonder when they will call me back for this interview’. Offtah, the man on the bench next to her just got called back for an interview. That is intimidating. Don’t worry girl, you’ve got this. You are fucking owning this room.
Ugh this security guard is back. Hands in his front pockets now. OH YES THE POWER STANCE. Ooftah, exhale Kristen….. it will be okay. Omg but those combat boots!! He just left through those damn sliding glass doors. Oh geez. My computer’s gonna die. I should probs get a ride home now.
Main question: (as is usually is), will I be able to take the bus without shitting myself or should I take an uber? Hmmmm Ill ponder as I run to the toilet NOWWWWW