3/4/2018
Is it sinking in yet?
The gravity of your decision?
I was left behind.
And you’re gone.
Saying you had no other choice.
I fail to believe that.
But today I wonder.
If you’ve understood.
All that you’ve left behind.
I will move on.
No matter the strain.
Becuase I must.
It hurts more these days
to see your name. To see your face,
to hear your voice on my screen.
You can’t hold the hand of a screen.
It won’t embrace my waist and make me feel safe.
Do you know all that you left behind?
I don’t want you to hurt.
But I want you to know.
You made a decision, a choice to let go.
So I wonder
when that realization will sink in.
The responsibility to stand by the choice you took.
why.
i miss you.
But my tears are slowing.
And less are falling.
Because each time we talk, the pain in my chest is opened again.
A wound that wants to heal.
Wants to learn from what we had.
I love you.
I will always have a place in my heart for you.
But you left.
And I have to move forward without you…
I just never anticipated the pain of knowing,
I will have to forget the small things.
Because today, they hurt too much to remember.
My throat tightens when I write this,
I’m not ready to let go.
I want you to come back.
I want to come to visit you.
I want you to tell me,
that you want to see me again.
Tonight all I see are pictures,
and we both know that’s not enough.
I deserve more.
I just want you to feel the immensity of the love you left behind.
You won’t find another person like me.
I have too much to offer you.
Maybe you know,
that’s why you chose to go.
Maybe you were too scared to stay.
But my sweet lil chip,
each choice has a cost.
and I just don’t know if you’ve come to terms with that.
I need love.
and I want you.
Not forever.
Just longer.
But today I just know,
It’s too hard (just yet)
To let go.
❤