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What It Feels Like to be Believed




5/29/24

 

In this same journal, I’ve written about him many times

In an entry in November 2017, I explain an instance when I illustrated why I would not unblock my brother.

I have the same feelings today, if not even stronger.

 

Being believed feels like…

Seeing your friend’s face continue to be filled with sorrow and worry as you explain his behavior toward you during your Christmas vacation with the family

 

Being believed feels like…

Your dad’s girlfriend crying over the phone as you tell her the ways he has tormented you. Creating fake cell numbers and continuing to contact and insult you when you tell him to stop. She apologizes for crying. She said this reminded her of her abusive ex-husband.

Having her say she is sorry that I’m going through this. I told her thank you for believing me.

 

But more than anything, I’ve felt in my 33 years of life…

Being believed feels like talking to my grandma on the phone. She asks how I’m physically feeling, and I tell her I'm not very well. It’s hard for me to talk with her when I’m not feeling well because I have to talk about it, and it’s heartbreaking. She said that I could always talk to her and tell her how I’m feeling, even if it wasn’t well.

After a seemingly long pause, she asks if he has contacted me again. I said no, I said I wish it didn’t take me threatening a restraining order for him to stop, but it did. It worked. And she believed me. She said “good” that he hasn’t kept reaching out and has instead given me space, she said I need to take care of myself and the stress does not help.

She believes me.

 

And I feel free.

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